Dec 20th 2007, 9:05 PM

In case I don't get a chance between now and then, I want to wish everyone Happy Holidays! Yes I'm being PC, but so what? There's nothing wrong with erring on the side of caution.

So tonight I played the best and worst game so far this season. I played the best because I forced the other team to adjust to me being at the net. It's the wrost because I got called out by one of my team members for being too competative. Well Thursday night is our competative team and well, I can't help it. I don't expect much from Monday nights, but on Thursdays I play to win. The sad part is when they told me, I backed off and let them play and they just let the ball drop... I know I'm competative, but /sigh. Whatever.

- Sorean

Dec 6th, 2007, 10:36 PM

I appologize for the delay, but life has been a little busy since I've been back. I will admit the whole funeral thing was a little sureal, and I have to say, asian funerals are definetly something different. There is a lot of food and eatting out, in 4 days I gained 6 pounds..... Yeah, but I'm in the process of losing it again so it's good. My relatives hardly recognized me as I have not been in Toronto for ages so it was kind of fun. At any rate, some of my cousins are doing well, one is a project manager for Rogers so she's making some good coin. Seeing my brother and sister was really good too.

There is so much that I want to put down, but am far too tired to put up here so message me on MSN sometime because I am very tired right now, just got home from volleyball so I'm tried as hell. So in point form:

- Boss is starting to annoy me.
- Volleyball is fun, but the team I'm on is limiting me.
- Video games are getting more and more involved and harder, but it's a good balance now still.
- Christmas should be an interesting time this year.
- New Years Eve plans are way up in the air.
- They came out with DDR for the Wii and I want it....
- I spend way too much money on DVDs
- I now own a couple sets of movies and Anime.
- Plane tickets cost a lot and I'm low on funds now :(
- It's going to be a quiet December and maybe January.

- Sorean

Nov 22nd 2007, 7:00 PM

I found out my grandpa passed away today. And I feel so blah, I'm worried about my mom to be honest, but I guess this just means a quick trip out to Toronto to see her. It's kinda funny how life works. Yesterday I was driving and coming down this hill there was a red light at the bottom, so I through the car in neutral and just coasted, slower than the speed (I was going 60 in a 80 zone), but it was a red light so I was in no hurry to get to stop. But they were laying into the horn behind me. And in the end, they got to the stop line about 3 seconds in front of me and stayed there for another good 20. Why get so worked up about something like that?

I thought that when Chris died it was something bad, and then Nathan, seeing him and saying goodbye in that dream was weird, and in all honesty, I believe he was there. I guess as we all grow older we can't hide ourselves from death, and as it happens more and more, we grow accustomed to it. Maybe I'm cold hearted, maybe I just have an easier time accepting the facts of life and distance myself appropriately so that I do not feel the pain and suffering that others do. I can't really tell to be honest because this moment, a pretty blah feeling is overcoming me. I know I can't help but feel a sense of sadness as he was part of my family. Without him, I would not be here, but what gives us these connections beyond genetics? I never was close with any of my extended family, and I'm hardly close with immediate family. Sure I talk to them and I go when called upon, but what really defines these things?

I've said it before, but my friends are my family, and my family are my friends. It's hard to explain, but it's the truth. It's things like this that force you to re-evaluate your life and the choices you have made.

Goi geen ah gung :(

- Sorean

Nov 11th 2007, 11:00 AM

In Flanders Fields
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

- Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae

May we never remember those that gave up their lives so that we can be free. Though I never knew anyone, I still respect and value the fact that we are free to do as we choose. With the sacrafies of those gone before us, we never would have the day we enjoy now.

/salute

- Sorean

Nob 8th 2007, 9:57 PM

How ironic, the first song to Armin's A State of Trance this week is a remix of "The Sound of Goodbye".... sorta creepy really.

- Sorean

Nov 6th 2007 7:30 AM

A year again and it's over. I just don't think Maggie and I are meant to be. Let it be known now that I suck at relationships. I don't know what I want in life and in the end, I'm still not sure. It's funny because when we were talking last night she mentioned that I was looking for commitment and now that I had someone willing to do that, I wasn't ready or wasn't sure. I really just don't know what I want or where I want to be in the end I guess.

It's weird, I was the one that wanted to end it, but why do I feel so crappy about it? Maybe it's because I couldn't bring myself to say the truth until the bitter end. I take too much of what people think into consideration. Too many conflicts of interests and I will give her credit for trying, damn more than I probably did due to my stubborn nature. /sigh I guess in the grand scheme of things I really should just learn from this experience, now done twice over and I thank her for teaching me. I know I will never forget her and she deserves to be treated better than by how I choose to end it. But I was truthful and I said things that hurt her, it wasn't a violent exchange, but conflicts did happen and I know well enough that it would just cause fights down the road. Maybe I'm too analytical, thinking too far in advanced. I can't just be with someone and not see if they fit into the end picture. I see issues that I know will be problems and in the end, I'd rather spare them and myself the pain in the end if it didn't work. Maybe I'm too cautious with that, maybe I don't want to end up like my parents are. Maybe I'm too self righteous in thinking the potential pain I may cause them later on may be greater than the pain that I cause now. Whatever the case may be, I pushed a good girl away. .

<Edit: Was asked to be removed, but there is much to be said about me here so I put it back with changes, it is my blog after all>

"Sometimes the sound of good-bye is louder than any drum beat" - Random Trance Song I know

- Sorean

Oct 14th 2007 1:40 PM

I remember why I don't drink that much any more. Last night I was sure some sort of wasted, but I couldn't have asked for a much better crowd to be around. I am very lucky to have the friends that I do :) Life otherwise is carrying on as normal. Volleyball, friends, games, rinse and repeat.

Holy crap, thank you Talia for sending this, this is geekly awesome!

http://kotaku.com/gaming/clip/dead-fantasy-i-310536.php

- Sorean

Oct 8 10:45 PM

OMG, who remembers this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPDi9DzihrE

- Sorean

Oct 1st 2007, 3:28 PM

Finally a little down time, too bad it took me throwing up through the night to get it. Yup, crouched over the toilet for a better portion of the night was fun I tell ya. Spend the better part of the morning sleeping in, waking up wishing I had some chicken noodle soup, which of course I didn't :( Great day to be sick I tell ya. Oh well, hopefully work can survive the day. Which I'm sure they can and will.

So apparently the shoutbox will run the script to show, but doesn't post anything.... /sigh I hate running servers one of these days I'll just move to a different method.

Friends now moved in upstairs which is nice, time will tell how well this arangement willl work out.

- Sorean

Sept 27th 2007, 9:30 AM

I know the shoutbox is broken with firefox for some reason, but works fine with IE.... how I loathe IE, I will be working on trying to figure out what is going on this weekend if I can find the time. Aside from that, life is good, back to back weeks on Monday night it's been 3 1/2 hours of volleyball. Playing for my one team and then subbing for a friend's. Some wow here and there, Zelda and what not too. This weekend will be helping 2 friends move in upstairs. It's gonna be great to have friends living here too.

- Sorean

Sept 16th 2007 3:00 PM

3rd place in the city for volleyball for the Calgary Corporate Challenge :) 3-4 Hours of volleyball on Saturday was a great way to start the weekend and I loves me my volleyball.

- Sorean

Sept 9 2007 8:16 PM

Days like this sorta annoy me, I've literally done nothing but play games, I like days when I get a couple hours, but man, even with games there's only so much.... boo to peopel cancelling plans.

So what has happend in the life of your's truly for the past couple of weeks? Nothing really, okay, I lied, I bought a nice new TV, 50 inches of plasmay goodness and I found a Wii here in Calgary!! It only took..... who knows how long. I'm loving the thing, but like I said above, only so many games you can play. So I have everything for the makings of a great home. Just missing the house.

Aside from that, work has been crazy busy, can hardly take 2 seconds to breathe when there. Gotta love software.... sometimes I'm not sure why my head hurts so much but then I remember that the thing I'm working with is used in x times x times infinity plus 12 different types of set ups out there. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, but damn sometimes, just damn.

Had our annual company party last night, was alright, nothing really special. I'll see if I can find a picture or two from it.

I start Volleyball again tomorrow night and on the 20th I'm starting on a Intermediate team, should be good because it means I'll actually have to try harder. Oh, I dropped a stereo sub on my foot, doc says I may have fractured a toe.... it's great, my feet get so abused. Oh well, we will see how tomorrow night plays out.

As mentioned below Maggie was down for the long weekend last weekend and it was good visit, lots of chilling out and what not. Although both of us were broke like hell it was still nice. She had just bought a car :P

Well time to keep plugging away, I will attempt to update more often.

- Sorean

Sept 6th 3:57 PM

Quick update, server is dying, it's randomly rebooting. So this is on a back up machine. FTP isn't working, and won't be for a while until I get things figured out.

Visit from Maggie was good :)

- Sorean

Aug 23rd 2007 8:39 AM

So it's been non-stop volleyball, friends, errands, home maintenance, etc. This past weekend was the first one since before the McKenna wedding that I had the entire weekend off. It's kinda sad, but during that weekend, I felt bored because I had nothing to do, it didn't feel right. On an up note, starting in September, starting on a Monday night team on hard court, it will be fun :D I probably will be playing against a lot of my old co-workers too from the place before where I currently work. I'm in the process of trying out for the Calgary Corporate Challenge team which showed me just how slack the rec leagues are, half-assed effort looks good in that league which is highly disappointing. Partially in myself because honestly, I just wasn't pushing hard enough. I gotta work a lot harder to get myself ready to play at the next level. The only problem is finding a team willing to commit. For the time being, I'm happy playing rec, but it's just not taxing enough.

Ed has been here since Tuesday and man am I tired, you'll hardly ever here me say this but damn I need coffee.

Okay, this may come off really assholish, or jerkish, but I'm really not sure why it bothers me. Maybe I'm becoming to cynical. So a family in Calgary just had quadruplets, awesome! But all of a sudden people are giving them all this stuff so they can get by with the kids. I mean it's all for the kids, but they are just given this stuff. Am I irritated at the generosity? No. What bothers me is that what about the families that have twins? They don't have others to support because it's a small number, but it shouldn't be any less significant. I dunno, the thing about not everyone being treated the same bothers me lately, /shrug I need to learn to let things go and not be concerned about things that I shouldn't be concerned about. Maybe I'm getting senile.... nah too young for that.

- Sorean

Aug 2nd 2007 7:45 AM

So I had the freakiest dream last night, yet again another dream about not being able to breathe. I dunno, now that I think about it, I used to have these kind of dreams when I was a kid too, I'd be crushed in my bed by like 2 giant tractor tires, but now, it's just lying in my bed and not breathing. This time though, it was preceded by another dream in which I was driving with my brother and sister and then slammed into from behind then everything went black. Then I opened my eyes and I was in bed, I gotta tell ya, the mind is a dangerous thing. Because when I opened my eyes I was just in the same position, sleep pattern that I was when I went to bed. Next thing I realize I can't breathe and I start freaking out because everything seemed so real. I put my hand in my mouth to make sure nothing was there, I grasped at my throat and nothing was there and I couldn't breathe. Then my mind went to an almost dangerous extreme and though I was being attacked by ghosts :P You know, when you see so many and read so many things about the paranormal and being from a superstitious culture, it's not a hard stretch.... I should know better though, stupid illogical mind. Anyway, back to the dream, I get up and stumble out of my room and it feels like I'm almost out of breathe, I collapse at the base of my stairs that lead up and the door opens. By this time I'm so weak from a lack of air that I'm crawling away from the door because a figure with a flashlight is coming down the stairs, I'm curled up in the fetal position having my life flash before my eyes, literally, you'd be surprised what you think about at times like that. Then this character drags me up and I thought it was my brother but it wasn't, his face was deformed and had veins popping and scars running up and down and like staples sticking out the wrong way of his face. And this was only the right hand side, he started talking, "50 years ago, when I was 15" Then I realize that it's not my brother and I wake up. All this happened in about 10 minutes after getting off the phone with Maggie. It sure was a quick 10 minutes but man, it's time to read up to see if sleep apnea causes nightmares or maybe do some research on my house to see if something happened here 50 years ago. Would be the second "ghost" I've encountered in a dream in a month. I like the place I'm living in too, just finally getting comfortable :(

- Sorean

July 23rd 2007 12:17 PM

I've reaffirmed my geekiness. I read all of the new Harry Potter book in one day... I must say, a very fitting end and a great story. I really hope that there is no plans on continuing or writing side stories. The series is great on it's own and should be left to rest the way it is. I must admit, she killed off a lot of characters, but in a war, there is bound to be causalities.

Aside from that, I've been sick with a summer cold, oh yeah, burning hot out, sneezing like it's winter. That's my idea of fun, it really is :P My dad is supposed to be coming down for the weekend this week, that should be fun... /sigh I really wish that he would see the errors of his past and just accept that he was wrong and face up. I can't stand it when people are wrong and can't admit that they have done so. I will admit when I'm wrong, when I've had a fault. Acknowledge and move on, there may be a need to make up for it, but that's about it. Anyway, different topic, my dad simply irritates me.

Ummmm no other major news to report, life is still chugging by day by day. I'm still looking forward to being able to put some more money towards my student loan that I still owe and towards the Christmas present I plan on buying myself. Now if only I could find a Wii to go with it :(

- Sorean

July 17th 2007 7:42 AM

Oh poor neglected webpage :( I haven't forgetten about this, it's just that life has never really been better at the moment. Got my raise notice last week and got put on par with the rest of the company at my level which is great. It allows me to breathe a little easier and definately will allow me to buy my Christmas present I was looking to get this year. Last year it was a small LCD monitor for my computer, this year, think of it on a much larger scale :)

For the next couple of week I'm playing volleyball twice a week, I started a beach league on Thursdays last week and so far, that team has proven to be a lot of fun. Last night was pretty fun too, playing with a bunch of old work collegues. Life is pretty good. I see friends almsot every weekend although I think I'm getting close to needing a quiet weekend where I sit and play games, maybe this weekend will be my chance. Besides volleyball, work, friends, games, it sure is a relaxing and active life. I hope anyone that is reading this finds their life just as relaxing :)

- Sorean

July 10th 2007 11:05 AM

First off, Congrats to Heather and Ryan McKenna (note the same last name *wink*). It was their wedding this weekend and they should now have left for the East coast and then onto Ireland for the honeymoon. Maggie came to visit and to go to the wedding. It was a very fun time, but I was tired as hell going through it. It was worth it don't get me wrong, but damn was I and am I still tired :P

So I got a little behind, but things have gotten a bit busier. Starting a new volleyball team on Thursday with a bunch of old co-workers that I can now sorta treat like friends. I dunno, sorta seems weird and I have a difficult time trying to keep my social and work life separate. I've always been taught to do so because some things in your personal life you never want people you work with to know, but where I'm working now, it's like a giant family and we have a great time here. I dunno, things change I guess.

- Sorean

June 29th 2007 8:28 AM

Not many of you will know the person I'm talking about, hell, not many besides Ed or those that I went to elementary school with will know who I'm talking about, but I had the strangest dream last night. Me and a bunch of friends were at a education convention and I had gotten accepted into a prestigious university course (can't remember what), but afterwards my friends and I came home, the thing is, it was my very first close group of friends, Matthew H, Mike H, and Nathan D. We were talking about how if I should give up my career to go back to school. And then all of a sudden I realized I was dreaming, the 4 of us were at the age we are now, we were all in Calgary and in my new place. Thing is, Matthew I haven't talked to in about 4 years, Mike since I left Saskatoon, and Nathan.... well he's been dead for a few years now. That's what helped me realize I was dreaming. I said right to him, "This must be a dream because" and I stuttered, "because you're dead." He said to me, "Your right, I am and you are dreaming." We talked for a little bit and he brought up how I made the trip back for Chris' funeral, but not for his, I made up some excuse or some reason about it being finals time or something, and he said it was okay. He knew that we drifted. I even asked him if it's my dream, "maybe I'm just making him say these things, how do I know or how can I be sure that I'm just not trying to make myself feel better?" He replied, "You don't know, no matter how your mind tries to justify things, there isn't an explanation for everything". I gave him a hug and said, "Good bye Nathan". He said good bye back and I woke up. I sat up and felt the urge to say it again, so I did. I don't remember the last time I felt something so powerful, so real, so even unreal come up in a dream before. It's so weird, but I guess it's a closing, I believe that he was there visiting me, so I'll say it again.

Good bye Nathan.

- Sorean

June 22nd 2007 6:30 PM

My current favourite song lyrics.

"Leave Out All The Rest" - Linkin Park

I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared

After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
[End Chorus]

Don't be afraid
I've taking my beating
I've shared what I made

I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
[End Chorus]

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are

- Sorean

June 18th 2007, 1:20 PM

New Picutres of the place can be found here: http://www.sorean.ca/sorean/images/Pictures/New%20Place/
Pictures of the trip to Vancouver: http://www.sorean.ca/sorean/images/Pictures/Vancouver/

This weekend the boys and I hit up Ilyxor (try saying the name a couple times, it'll come to ya) nightclub where our friend Chad has a gig being the opening DJ on Friday/Saturday nights. It's pretty good house/trance/techno music, all very good stuff and very enjoyable. Also, at 2 dollar highballs, you can hardly go wrong. Weekend was a bit of fun, drinking the night before, then shopping all day Saturday with Mitch and Andrea and Sunday was filled with lounging and cleaning.

So the next little bit is going to be a little slow/boring with the exception of Maggie coming to visit/McKenna and Heather's Wedding it's going to be a dull summer. If any of you people are wanting a trip up to Calgary, let me know, you got somewhere to stay ;)

- Sorean

June 12th 7:50 AM

So 1/2 a month has flown by with me hardly realizing it. It's been a bunch of unpacking, hanging out with the boys, video games, exercising, etc. I do have to admit, I do feel better. coming home I really do have a sense of accomplishment. Everything done by my own abilities, I had a little help along the way, but now I'm finally getting caught up in my own life, but all of a sudden I realize the clock is ticking. I'm too young to have a mid-life crisis :P But the more I think about it, the more I have grander plans for the future, but sadly, barring a huge pay raise it will be a while before I actually get ahead and get what I want.

I need a coffee table, big TV (might just get a projector instead, well this thing can wait, I'm thinking I could use an ), shelves, etc. Sometimes I love Ikea and Wal-mart. I hope my raise in July will be significant enough to allow me to get a little more ahead. I figured that at my current rate, I will be debt free in about 18 months as long as I can put my nose to the grindstone. I have a friend who I admire very highly that has been very agressive with what he wants and his goals and does damn well with it. I could learn a thing or two from him.

- Sorean

May 30th 11:27 AM

Just a note saying I'm still alive. Moving was hectic, getting everything into place is just as difficult. Trying to get everything sorted out and in a livable environment. Oh, my summer volleyball league got cancelled, I'm pissed :( Oh well, Fall league then.

Today's letters: L G G (Blazing Fast, synonym)

- Sorean

May 24th 2007, 4:15 PM

I'm feeling a sense of dread lately and I can't shake it for some reason. Last thing things went this well I got laid off. I'm moving into my new place, booking a truck, one left, on the day I want it, booking Internet, they can come on the day I want in the time frame I want. Maybe it's because performance reviews are coming up at work and I'm afraid that I haven't done a good job. Most of me feels that I have, but you never know. Moving is this weekend, it should be okay and I will pay in Pizza and Beer, although we may be going out afterwards, we'll see what happens. Aside from that, life is going okay, once I get settled in I'll be posting pictures soon.

Oh yeah, almost forgot about saying I went out to BC to visit my girl for the long weekend. It was awesome :) Went for a hike one day, it was fun, Maggie got scared on the bridge, I have to admit, it's pretty intimidating, I'll put pictures up when I have time, they're on my camera, but most everything is packed away already. It was a nice relaxing getaway. Gotta try to plan a trip out to TO to visit my mom too, /sigh I hope I get a raise when my performance review comes, and that change is going to be July 15th and that will come after my review hopefully next week.

PS. My facebook addiction is over, it's just something check from time to time now.

- Sorean

May 21 2007, 8:14 PM

Apparently it has been brought to my attention that I have been very negative towards Kevin and after reviewing things, it's right, don't get me wrong, I love Kev to death and I do wish him well, but no one lives perfectly. Those are simply things that are going wrong at the moment. Me moving out has very little to do with Kevin, if you notice, I have said that I've needed some type of change, and I think that's it. I'm not trying to defend myself too much, but I am simply saying that I love Kevin like I love a brother, everyone has their rough patches and things that they don't always see eye to eye on. To damn me for having my opinions about someone else.... that's just plain silly.

- Sorean

May 16th 2007, 12:52 PM

So my life has been a little hectic lately. Got the place signed for, getting stuff signed up and moved over, most like transferring stuff to Kevin and getting new hookups put in place. Blah to always having to pay the extra costs, same with the stuff for the apartment. The place is going to be so bare after I move, not that I plan on taking everything, but there are little things that Kev never bought and it's always been my dime that paid for so much for that apartment. Sad that I'd feel bad for taking everything that I've bought for it, good thing I'm leaving most of it and buying new stuff, although I'm tempted to ask for money for some of the stuff. I mean he wants me to leave my modem and cables there so he doesn't have to worry about it, which isn't a big deal, but I still have to buy my things for me and that's the tough part, more money outta my pocket when he sits there. Actually I think it's one of the reasons, I was always buying things for the apartment meanwhile he didn't do a thing for the place. *sigh* I really shouldn't be airing this out, but hey, once you're on a roll...

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited about moving out, independence / freedom from everything finally, sweet sweet isolation :D. There are only a couple things that I really need for my new place, new sets of dishes and utensils, a bigger TV maybe, some tables, etc. Good thing most of it can wait. I really need to get a PS2 though, have some RPGs to finish in my spare time and I really do like the idea of having a little office set up, I already have everything planned of where things should be anyway. We'll see how much room I get to play with anyway.

And to end the day:

Drug Dealers vs. Geeks

- Sorean

May 7th 2007, 4:15 PM

I'm still alive, I'm really excited about the new place and after this weekend hopefully everything will be settled. The idea of living alone really placates me, seems to calm me a bit.

So last night I had this weird dream, it happened like right as I was falling asleep. I can't remember exactly what it was, but in the dream something was physically threatening me, almost like suffocation to the point where I couldn't breathe, but then I realized I was "not breathing" for a lot longer than I know I can hold my breath. Next I realized I was dreaming, but then the next little bit is a bit fuzzy, I tried to move in the dream and wake myself up, but I couldn't. I then started freaking out, at least in my mind that what if I never woke up? What if I was already dead and this is what happens? A million thoughts raced through my mind, it wasn't until I came to terms that things might be the way they are for a reason did my mind and body end up relaxing and I woke up. It's weird, it's like I'm okay and have come to terms with death, I know I'm still young, but I really am not afraid of dying, I've done what I can in this life and I don't expect any regrets when I leave this world. I know, odd topic and usually people don't talk about epiphanies they have, but hey, this is my little rant for the day :)

- Sorean

May 2, 2007, 12:36 PM

So it's been a little while, but I've been a little busy running around and what not. Turns out I will still get the basement, it's awesome news for me:) I got a place to live now I just have to call and transfer/set up stuff. Aside from that, it's a bit of the same stuff every day, gaming, gym, cooking, relaxing, etc.

Facebook is evil by the way.

Inspired

Looks like my bro has found poetry and prose.
His skills past hidden have now been exposed.
Though not proper the words he chose,
The message is simple, info he knows.

Normally this ain't my style,
But it's fun to experiment once in a while.
So consider this a test, a simple time trial.
There is not finish line, there is no last mile.

A simple exercise to test my creativity
opening my eyes, blurred before, but now I see
Don't expect reason or consistency
It doesn't mean anything, just experimental flexibility.

This is a break; there is no iambic
Good writers overcome, become dynamic.
Tooth and nail, every punch and kick,
They struggle to conform to their topic.

So I'm done with this, a personal conquest,
I can lay my pen down and put it to rest.
The text is simple, there is no jest.
A trial of creativity, simply a test.

- Sorean

Apr 24th 2007, 10:17 AM

So Kevin backed out, and then when I told him I was still planning on moving out at the end of May, he freaked saying that he only has a month to find someone to move in. I gave him plenty of notice, hell just look below, I told him on somewhere between April 2nd and 9th, that gave him almost all of this month, but I will also admit that I told him that I will stay long enough to help him out. That being said, I'm not putting my life on hold anymore. The guy is like a brother, but I have to move out on my own, it's that simple. People that know me, know that I am a people person, and because I am, I take on the personality and traits of those around me. Which explains why I get along so well with so many people. Thing is, staying here will be detrimental for my own psychological health. I've tried to help him over and over, but he never listens to me, nor does he seem to want to change. I know that if I don't force the change, he will sit back and take his time trying to find his own situation, what he doesn't seem to understand is that me moving out, I have to find a place too and make proper arrangements for that.

/vent over

- Sorean

Apr 23rd 2007, 2:30 PM

Seems like this is more becoming a weekly update. I must say it's been a slow, waiting on Kevin to make up his mind on if he wants to still live with me, sort of anyway. But he said he might be leaning towards no, which kind of makes me sad, but I'm sure I can find other places, just won't be as perfect as this place. I mean it's close to work, right by where I play volleyball, going to be close to where my new office building is going to be.... 2 bedrooms, one office, one actual bed room, sigh, why worry about a place that might not work out? I just hate not knowing the future and sometimes when I make a decision, it never works out right. But I have a decent feeling about this. I will try my best. I just like more than 30 days to decide my future, if you don't know, I like things planned ahead :P This is going to suck because I'm going to be spending part of the month in Vancouver too. I worry too much.

Good thing I have friends that I can count on if things go rough.

- Sorean

April 16th 2007, 12:30 PM

So I suck at this whole updating thing. Anyway, been spending time looking at places and I thinking I may have found a nice one and it may still allow for Kev to live near me while not with me. At the very least it will give me my privacy. It's a duplex, I'll get the upstairs and he'll get the downstairs, separate, but still together. At least I can lock my door :P We will be going to look at it on Saturday and if he likes it then we will go through with it, if not, I'll still be trying for the basement suite. but the guy said that he will probably rent it to me. I'll post pictures and what not after it's confirmed. The guy was even nice enough to say he will hold it until the lease runs out.

Anyway, back to off-site training for Vista.

Last word: Success. Today's letters: W D W (Thing)

- Sorean

Apr 9th 3:45 PM

So I told my roommate that I'm going to be moving out on my own soon. And he took it not too bad, except I had really bad timing. He got dumped and told by another one of his friends that they didn't want to see him any more. My heart really goes out to him, but I gotta live my life too. It was a great run, some of the experiences I wouldn't trade for the world and defintely has opened my eyes to more things.

Moving out and doing things on my own, I'm a big boy now :P Not that I wasn't it before, it's just, more independant and the prospect of coming home to an empty house sort of seems exciting and enticing. Granted, without Maggie there it won't be as fun ;) I guess I should go find a gym now, they better have a steam room at least. So if anyone is going to be out in Calgary, the last week of May, I welcome any hands. Places don't seem to be too difficult to find. I mean just looking today, I saw 4 possibilities and 2 more online. So I don't think it will be much of an issue. I just have to make sure Kev has things settled for him too.

My leafs didn't make the playoffs because the Islanders won in overtime, in a shootout to get the extra point.... NHL shootouts determining who wins is the dumbest thing I can think of. Seriously, I liked the one period of overtime, if it's a tie then it's a tie, leave it at that.

Weekend was a blur of shopping for Heather and McKenna's wedding, at least they used a Registry :D

My volleyball season is currently over, however I will be looking into getting another team together starting May. Team ended up 7th out of 16 I think, coulda been 18. But I had an awesome game, my serves were killer, hell I made more serves in those games that I did all season. I really gotta work on being consistent with those, it's weird, some games, I'll be crazy good, others, I can't get one over the net to save my life. /shrug games are still good and fun.

So there's this new facebook thing, it's actually kind of neat, you can keep track of who you used to work with, say hi to people you went to school with and just sort of builds a huge network. It's neat, but sometimes, a little creepy too. Ah well, I like this blog and I'm going to stick too it.

Today's letters: S C S (Acheivement)

- Sorean

Apr 3rd 8:15 AM

I don't like this.... I spent the weekend playing games, feeling like I wasted it and I can feel that I'm becoming lethagic towards things for some unknown reason, I don. I need a change of something, but I'm not sure what. I just feel that something isn't right in my life right now and it has to change.

In regards to the question about NASCAR, it's a huge waste of resources. Sure it's a test of endurance, but so is a nice long night of sex, and the latter is a lot more enjoayble. All that gasoline, rubber, cement and other things spent on facilities for racing, just end up hurting the environment in the end. If you want to talk about sports arenas, at least people are testing their physical capabilities, yes, they could be a little more toned down and outdoor venues would be nice too, but in the end, most of them are a waste of resources too.

- Sorean

Apr 2nd 12:32 PM

People are so lazy... what ever happend to shovelling snow? Now they just turn on their gas powered blowers to blow the freshly fallen snow to the side.... while it's still snowing. I don't get it, what a waste of resources, not to mention the killing of the environment. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a completele tree hugger, but I do my part, paper, cans, etc, I do what I can. Just irks me when people burn resources uncessarily. If you're not going to be in a room for a while, turn the lights, fan, etc off. I dunno, I was raised that if I don't do my little bits, it will all add up and the planet will be shit for generations to come.

- Sorean

Mar 30 2007, 11:53 AM

So I've had a busy life since I was back. My "champagne" birthday has passed and it was a pretty low key thing, and to be honest, I wasn't even going to do anything for it, but spur of the moment, went to see TMNT with a couple of friends and then for pizza and beers after, low key, but enjoyable. One volleyball season is done, and working on trying to plan for the next one that starts in just over a month. Ummmm what else.... still on the whole eatting healthy, working out thing, I need smaller belts.

Had to deal with a bedbug issue at my appartment and let me tell you, it's not fun. It's like misquito bites when you wake up... not fun. The building sprayed for them, but I'm not convinced they're all gone :( Going to buy some new bedding this week (pillows, blanket, covers, etc) anything short of replacing my bed. /sigh at frustration.

- Sorean

Mar 20 2007, 9:05 AM

Just a quick note saying I'm alive. BC was fun, minus the the cloudiness. Went to Vancouver tower for dinner, was very nice, sorta makes me want to see what the Calgary Tower one looks like.

Got called to sub for a volleyball game last night, knee isn't hurting, good sign, but I play tomorrow in beach and another late game >_< Lack of sleep FTL.

Headhunter was the previous word. Now I got stuck on one I saw out in BC, but I have still yet to think of one: E D K

- Sorean

Mar 15 2007, 12:46 PM

Headed to Vancouver for the weekend so likely no updates after this.

I like how all your answers are physical appearance related Lindz... way to be shallow :D I think I need to start giving clues about the word. So far it seem to be the only method that yields the correct answer.

Yesterday's Word: Mystify. Today's Letters: H H E (Occupation)

- Sorean

Mar 14 2007, 12:55 PM

Lunch time!!

The word is Stockbroker. Today's letters: Y T F

So I'm nursing my knee still, it was pretty bad, today I can actually walk, past two, I was a gimp, I can't remember the last time I walked with a limp. Out to Vancouver tomorrow for the weekend. Should be a fun one, considering Maggie's place flooded and we're still trying to sort out accomidations. Weeee :)

- Sorean

Mar 12 2007 7:45 AM

I hurt myself... my knee hurts when it walks. Talking to my bro, sounds like I may have hurt the joint. Then again, my left elbow is doing the same. Fun weekend overall, dinner party, volleyball, injury :P Oh yeah, one thing of note, people should not meet each other in real life if they meet playing a game...... oh so much drama that I didn't need to know. Sadly, it causes problems.

Last week's word: Handicap. Today's letters: TKB (profession)

- Sorean

Mar 8th 2007 12:45 PM

Money has never really been an issue for me. Everyone that knows me knows that I usually put others first and money can be remade so long as you have the drive for it. I've always said that as long as I have enough to get me through comfortably I will be happy and espeically if i can stand to treat myself every once in a while. But I really want to start getting a head and it's not a big problem.

My problem lies in the fact that I had to inadvertently find out that I'm getting underpaid when compared to the people I brought over from my old company. It's not even a little bit, I mean a couple hundred bucks over the course of a year doesn't matter much. I'm knowing that there's a discrepancy of almost 5 grand.... How does it make sense that my employees are making more than me? I know it's part of the company's confidentially policiy to talk about wages, but it sort of makes me feel undervalued. Not that I'm going to quit over something like this, but damn if it doesn't depress me about it. I've been told that I will receive a review and my wage will be put in line with those around me and those working for me, but like I said, damn if it doesn't annoy the crap outta me, it's somewhat demotivating really.

I want to know how much of the change is so that I can make plans about my future, like I said, my life is changing and I need to do some things on my own. Having a bit of extra money helps.

- Sorean

Mar 8 2007 7:17 AM

The word was remorse Adam got it, but he doesn't win a prize, it was simply something to test your mental prowess.

Todays letters: HDP (no hint because it would probably give it away).

Volleyball record for the past 2 weeks is 9 games to 2.... still choked that we lost one of them, should be 10-1..... oh well.

For the record I started this year at 240..... I weighed myself this morning, down to a nice 224. Gotta keep this up, the goal was to reach 200 by July. Somehow though, I think I might end up with more muscle and end up at the same weight.... in fact muscle even weighs more... oh well I can live with a smaller stomach.

- Sorean

Mar 6th 2007 11:45 AM

Since I seem to have people guessing now I'll add a couple more hints to see if people can think of the word that I originally thought of.

The word is Buttercup. Today's letters: RMR (feeling)

And at the suggestion of a friend:

THE MOST RANDOM SURVEY EVER

1. Favorite country song?
I don't know if I really have one, but the last one that I remember that I liked before I stopped listening to the genre is Beaches of Chyenne by Garth Brooks.

2. Last thing you bought?
Donuts for the co-wokers

3. Last time you got flowers?
Got, never.

4. Do you share a toothbrush with your significant other?
Gross, so the answer is no.

5. One of your stuffed animals' names as a kid?
Buddy, in fact, he's still with me :D

6. Did you ever own at one time a Barenaked Ladies CD?
Does a digital version count?

7. Favorite day of the week?
Saturday, sleep in, plus I get to do what I want, but not really, most of the time I have plans.

8. Favorite Sundae topping?
Hot chololate

9. Did you take Piano lessons?
No, but I can kind of play the guitar, I used to be good at it, now, I remember one song.

10. T.V. show you secretly enjoy?
Yu-Gi-Oh...

11. Date someone older or younger?
Both, currently younger.

12. One place you could travel to right now?
A peaceful lakeside camp group / cabin, with lots of books and food. Oh, and some movies.

13. Do you use umbrellas?
I've lost the last two that I've owned.

14. Do you know all the words to the Canadian national anthem?
I would hope so.

15. Best job you ever had?
The old company I used to work for in the good times, then stuff went to shit. Now I'm really enjoying my current job.

16. What is the last thing you do before you go to sleep every night?
Set / Turn off my alarm.

17. Ever been in a car accident?
Sure have, 2 of them. One was my fault, other was a drunk guy's.

18. What age is this exciting life over for you?
Pretty much now, I'm looking towards buying a house, a new car, etc. Gonna be tough on my own, but that may change.

20. Were you ever in a school talent show?
I realized we're missing 19.... I was in a musical, does that count? Or what about a modified rap to try to get myself elected SRC head guy?

21. Allergic to?
Dust mites.....

22. Favorite fruit?
Bananas and apples

24. Do you shampoo first in the shower or soap?
I brush my teeth while it sets.

26. Do you scream on roller coasters?
I dunno about scream, but i do cheer.

27. Who was your first prom date?
I never took a date to a dance.

28. Who was your first roommate?
A couple of people, but I still currently live with one of them.

29. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk for the first time?
Ummm I don't remember.... Andrea could help with this one.

30. What was your first job?
Stock boy in a grocery shop.

31. What was your first car?
A 94 sundance that I drove for about 5 months before I totalled it.... Hey Ed, similar answers :P

33. Who was your first grade teacher?
I don't even remember.

34. Where did you go on your first airplane ride?
I was a baby to Toronto I think, but I can't remember. First one I can remember, Toronto for my Grandpa's B-day in like grade 10 I think.

35. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?
I'm sorta like Ed, I mope and play games / listen to music, I'll talk if I'm ready and usually then, it's only a few people.

36. (yes I'm adding new questions). - Ed added these
Do you like your job?
Yes I do actually.

37. What do you do when you have time off?
Relax, play games, exercise. Exercise first, then games.

38. What's your favorite color?
Blue

39. Sleepy yet?
It's lunch time, hell no.

40. You made it to number 40. How do you feel?
Eh.... I usually don't do surveys so it's a breathe of fresh air to the readers.

41. Favorite movie?
Boondock saints.

42. If you could drive one car for the rest of your life it would be...?
Something sporty, I like my Cavalier right now, but probably something newer.

43. Say the first word that comes to your mind when you hear the word: Milk
Drunken Cow..... like Joey's ex-girlfriend (only some people will get this joke)

44. Do you have a favorite song? Why is it your fav?
Not really, but Walking in Memphis by Marc Cohen is a long time favourite, I always stop to listen to this song.

45. Who did you Idolize when you were a kid?
Along the wrestling lines, Razor Ramone. He was an awesome fighter, and the Razor's Edge was like a perfect finisher that hurt like a mofo.

45 seems like a good number to stop at.
LOL, 45 twice..... you really suck at counting Ed.

- Sorean

Mar 5th, 2007. 7:10 AM

The weekend disappeard on me, but I had a lot of fun the past week.

The word is "Dewdrop" letters for today: BTP

The weekend consisted of... a going away party Friday Night, running around with my car on Saturday and Andrea's B-day party, Sunday was Dim Sum with the volleyball team and then volleyball with them later in the day. Yay for finding a balnce :) I need a weekend from my weekend though. and I just talked to a co-worker and it looks like I may be going out again this coming weekend. Tuesday is wings, leave a message if you're interested and I'll let you know where and when.

- Sorean

PS 6-0 in volleyball since Wednesday, got a nice run going.

March 2nd 2007, 8:05 AM

The word was "Growth"

Today's 3 letter cominbation: DWR

Oh yeah, my volleyball team won both their games on Wednesday night 2 zip both games. Felt pretty good, and everyone was gelling for once.

- Sorean

March 1st 2007 7:30 AM

So you know how I have a little game with cars? Car license plates have 3 letters? Well the object is to create a word that is longer than 5 letters long and using the ones in sequence. For example, TPW.... not exactly the easiest combinations to work with, a bit of thinking = stopwatch, HEI = cherish. It's not a hard game, but yesterday I felt so dumb playing this game. RWT was the one I encountered yesterday and after I figured out a word for it, I felt pretty dumb :P What's the word?

- Sorean

Feb 20th 2007 9:24 AM

What a whirlwind weekend Thursday was Markus, Friday I had only a half day of work because I had booked off the morning, and good thing too. I also had an interview. Now I have a job doing web content management / development for a local college thanks to Andrea :). I think I'm gonna enjoy it.

Then Saturday I spent the morning with Ed and his buddies whiel they shopped, played taxi for a little bit. Afterwards I went to see Agnes, met up with her for a late lunch and to catch a movie, Smoking Aces. Now I will admit, that was a pretty damn good movie. I don't want to give it away but I highly suggest that people go and see that movie. After that I went home shortly for maybe 45 minutes and then it was back out for drinks with my younger volleyball team. It was a pretty fun night, I should never play pool with people I don't know. First shot, ran the table except the 8 ball. For some reason, I play better on bar tables. And I wasn't even trying, the shots were just right there. But for the rest of the night I sat there talking to them, watching the game, enjoying the time.

Sunday I went to spend with Ed and his girl and his friend Nicki at Chinook before they had to leave. I found the first three TMNT movies for 30 bucks :) Yay for reliving my childhood. Spent the rest of the day vegging out playing games. I must admit I'm really happy with the way things are. I've only lost 3 pounds on the scale, but I'll be needing to buy a new belt soon, it's on the tightest hole and fits comfortably. Yay!

I will admit, I sightly miss raiding, gotta find a group to do that with.

Untitled

My how long it has been since I touched a pen.
To be honest, I don't remember where or even when.
I used to be an artist of images in mind.
But then I stopped writing, the skills fell behind.

And it's just not writing, but every aspect of life.
Everything that once was easy is now done with pain and strife.
Bettering one's self is always a difficult task.
Set your mind, make a plan, in results you will bask.

Everything, and I mean everything is all about your mind set.
If you don't change, you are your own regret.
Willingness to change comes from strength found within.
Unfortunately, letting yourself down is far too easy and not a sin.

Why do we treasure those around us and not ourselves?
The answer is probably deeper than your conscience mind can delve.
Others cannot give you happiness or peaceful serenity.
Your conscience, your mindset, your actions will justify your sanity.

Nothing really justified in the writting of that, something simply came over me about a week ago, it's dated Feb 12 on my book. Perhaps a self motivator to keep on my current track to not divert from it, perhaps like I wrote, something deeper than my conscience mind can see, it simply flowed from my mind, to my hand, and onto the page within about 10 minutes. Kind of odd really because it was in the middle of an all hands staff meeting where the VP was giving a talk. Pretty bad, but whatever, it was channeled I guess you can say, somewhat possessed.

- Sorean

Feb 16th 2007 6:56 PM

Last night we went to see Markus Schultz, a DJ with very similar styles to my personal DJ god, Armin. I miss that music, I've been listening to a bunch of hip hop and other things lately and last night reminded me that trance, in the right atomosphere is so good. Volleyball is turning out great and I have prospects to play in a summer team so far. I gotta admit though, neither of the teams I play for right now, really push me. I'm not trying to dis the people I play with, nor am I saying that I'm the best, but the teams I'm playing on do not push me to be better.

I now have another job too, working for a college here to doing their web development for an online course. So that will keep me busy too :) Yay for more work and no gaming. I gotta get Sean's page done this weekend too. Too bad my weekend is almost booked solid. I like a busy life, I just gotta make sure I don't overbook myself.

Oh, phone call, gotta go.

- Sorean

Feb 6th 2007 11:30 AM

You ever have any of those days where you don't feel like doing nothing? I'm a bit annoyed at a large variety of things, but mainly at my own lack of ability to be assertive and change things in my life. Although I have in one main sense in regards to volleyball, my living and day to day stuff is starting to annoy me. I really need to address somethings before I blow up at people. I hate how I sometimes let myself fall into situations like this. Letting the actions of others affect my life because I'm too damn passive at times because I'm scared to hurt people's feelings. It could be that I'm frustrated at myself that I am not doing what I want. I'm on the verge of doing more healty things like going to the gym on a regular basis, eatting healthier, but there is one thing that gets in the way. A stupid game, and I'm very close to just saying forget it. I want to still play because I contribute well, but I really am losing the drive to push for anything in that game. I don't mind playing casually, but it feels like if I don't play I'll fall behind. I attribute that to my competative nature and wanting to be the best at what I do, which I can't in the game if I want to be good to myself. That's it, I have to play less and I'm going to start playing when I have the time AFTER I get what I want to do get done, question is, when do I start?

Time to stop letting myself down.

- Sorean

Jan 29th 2007 7:15 AM

Hmmmm seems like I've forgotten about this page a little bit, funny because I see it every day. I really should become less reactive and more proactive. We all know that being proactive is the key to being successful, but yet most of us are too lazy to do much about it. Why? Because coasting is easy, no bumps, no troubles, no problems. *note to self, talk about management training later.

To take a completely differnt tone, the past couple of weeks have been nothing but exceptional. This is what a normal life feels like. I now play volelyball 2 nights a week. Having some time to game that feels less like a job now is fun. Running errands without feeling like I'm losing anything is amazing. I know somewhere in my 2k6 archive I said that it looked like it was going to be a good year. Ken and I went out for dinner last week and we were reminising about being in Poland just a year ago. How things change and how some stay the same. So I've had 2 people from my old company start here and in about a week's time, I'm having another 3 start. I like being in a role where I have influence in both the company and outside of it. Talk about it being a roller coaster year.... I really haven't had time to reflect or review, but it definately was one hell of a fun time. Now, a new job, new activities, rekindled friendships, and strengthed ones as well, this year should definately be better than the last. Well off to work.

- Sorean

Jan 15th 2007 7:15 AM

So I woke up earlier than usual today. I neglected to mention that I have gotten back into volleyball and loving every single sore moment of it. Aside from that though, the start of the year has been nothing be me being sick. After tht flue went away, I caught a cold which I'm still fighting off, talk about sickness kicking you when you're down.

I have a Sunday team to play on starting next week, it's the same crew that I played with last year when I got back from Poland. So it will be fun, all a cool bunch of kids, too bad I'm the oldest... And I start playing on Wednesday for a beach team. Twice a week should be good for me if I can get my body back in shape for it. Which I'm going to try damn hard to. I'm also subbing in for a team tonight. Man I love that sport so much it's hard to explain. I don't think anything compares. It's like having really great sex after a good game, course if you lose the game it's like bad sex, but even then, at least you're getting some. Okay, bad joke, but you can blame a programming teacher of mine. "Why is coffee like sex? Because even if it's bad, you're still getting some."

On a completely off note, I finally got sorean.com. Yes I'm proud to be Canadian and .ca will always work, but .com will point you here as well. I'm just thinking I should change the site or something to do with the .com option instead. Only took me 5 years to get the damn .com site. Belongs to me for the next year and maybe for the next little while too. I think I'm just going to register it for 10 years when it comes up for renewal. Well off to work.

- Sorean

Jan 8th 2007 10:45 AM

First post of the new year and it's been a whirlwind since the 27th and Armin. Ed left, Maggie came down for new years, she left, Shannon, Gen, and Talia just left yesterday. It's been a crazy 2/3 weeks for me and sadly, I think my body broke down and I couldn't even properly entertain the last 3 girls :( Awesome friends, but I couldn't even take them out like I wanted to, or even do anything for the most part.

Friday I was completely disabled, couldn't move, spent all day pretty much lying in bed falling in and out of consciousness, worst I've felt in ages so bad to the fact that I actually took the day off. Ugh feeling like crap again, I'll be good and fine in a day or two so it's all good :D I'm off for now.

- Sorean