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Jokes

Speedy

by on Aug.17, 2010, under Jokes

A speedboat down nearing the bottom of his financial barrel finally gets a job as a real estate agent after trying for jobs everywhere. Why he didn’t get a job elsewhere I have no idea, but this company decided to take him on. At first everything goes great for him. He’s getting plenty of calls to show houses, and even a few high end condos in the downtown core. But after a month, he still hasn’t been able to close the deal with any of the callers and the owners of the houses he is responsible for are starting to get restless. Two weeks later he gets called into the boss’s office. The boss says to him, “Speedy, I’m afraid I’m going to have to let you go. You’re a great worker, but you just haven’t got any sales (sails).”

Original, shorter version is on Facebook.

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My own creation

by on Apr.05, 2010, under Jokes

So these puns are of my own creation, with the exception of the neutron one, that one inspired all these. They’ve gone on my Facebook, but I figured I’d have a better place to keep them.

A hill and a farm were having a chat. The hill wanted to know why the farm could grow so much and the hill could not. The farm replied, “I’m not inclined to tell you anything.”

Some oxygen and hydrogen atoms got into a huge fight, after a while all you could see was this cloud of mist start to rise. My friend pipes up, “Aw, would you look at that, they’re bonding.”

A base and an acid walk into a bar and start getting trashed. After a while they start throwing out racist remarks and degrading comments about pretty much everyone in the bar. Having no one respond, the two leave the bar. I ask the bartender, “What’s with those two?” The bartender responds, “Those two? Just ignore them, they’re just trying to get a reaction.”

A proton is walking home late at night and got robbed in a dark alley. Scared he goes to the nearest police station and reports it to the Desk Sargent. The Sargent hands him a book of mug shots to file a police report. After a few pages the proton exclaims, “That’s him! Billy McRobberson.” The Desk Sargent asks, “Are you sure that’s him?” The proton replies, “I’m positive.”

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a few drinks, proceeds to get completely wasted and starts trashing the bar. He breaks a few chairs, rips up the felt on the pool table, and gets kick out of the place. He feels really bad about it the next morning so he goes back to the bar. Bartender calls the cops afraid that he’s going to do more damage. The cops arrive and say, “We can’t charge him”.

Okay, that’s it for now. Tomorrow will be a real update with the highlights of the past month.
– Sorean

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